Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004)

Confessions? Try Lies.

Mary Cep's (Lindsay Lohan) life has come to an end. Her mother had decided to move the family from New York City, the center of everything, to a New Jersey suburb. Mary just knows she will hate it.

The one good thing is she can go around and introduce herself as Lola, the name she feels really fits her. On her first day, Mary/Lola makes a best friend in Ella (Alison Pill) when they discover they both love the same band, Sid Arthur. But Lola quickly makes an enemy as well when she auditions for the lead in the school play. Carla (Megan Fox) has played the lead in every school play and doesn't take kindly to the competition.

Then disaster strikes and Sid Arthur announces they are breaking up after one last concert in New York City. Carla quickly announces she is going, and Lola just as quickly states the same. Now, can she and Ella get tickets and permission to attend? How will the play turn out?

And will the viewer care? My guess is, probably not. The plot is paper thin and predictable. The problem is that there isn't enough going on to make the viewer truly care about anything.

And the characters don't help. Lola lies about things other than her name for no apparent reason. While she does see the harm that causes along the way, it didn't really feel resolved to me. Ella is weak and wishy washy.

Finally, the movie ends with highlighting several of the songs from the school musical. While they certainly tie into the movie thematically, they serve no real purpose.

There is nothing worth seeing here. Pass right by and spend your time on a much better film. December 5, 2008

It's like `Mean Girls', only worse...

...much worse.

To say that `Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen' mirrors it's subsequently superior proceeding film `Mean Girls' would be a simple yet obvious observation. Both center around a young teenage girl who winds up in a new school, fitting in nicely with the nerds while trying to outwit the popular girl. Both also star Lindsay Lohan; but what `Mean Girls' has that `Confessions...' lacks is Tina Fey, among many, many other things.

`Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen' follows Lola as she moves from wonderful New York City to New Jersey where she finds herself in a school that just doesn't understand her. She's your typical teenager who swoons over the frontman for the band Sidarthur, claiming his poetic lyrics to be the second coming of Shakespeare. Moving to New Jersey has been difficult for her, and so she finds herself spreading lies to make her life all the more exciting in order to gain friendships with anyone, ultimately finding that Ella, the school nerd, is the only one that gets her. Carla, the school princess, makes Lola her mortal enemy and they find themselves competing for the lead in the school play and also for the affections of a certain Stu of Sidarthur.

Where `Confessions...' could have come off as a happy-go-lucky teen comedy it winds up coming off amateur and ridiculous. The script is ludicrously unoriginal and manages to never flesh itself out to become anything more than an exaggerated sitcom episode. We never really care about any of the characters and when it all boils down to it we have absolutely no reason to give this movie a second thought, or a first thought.

The acting feels so staged and unnatural that it makes the slosh running rampant on `The Disney Channel' seem Oscar caliber. Lohan has done this much better before (`The Parent Trap') and after (`Mean Girls') and so this offering seems like a really bad hair day for her. Her acting is on the verge of annoying. Worse yet though is Megan Fox who is barely able to make her character seem like anything more than a nervous pretty girl. She's not evil, she's not even commanding. Look at what Rachel McAdams did with Regina George in `Mean Girls'...I mean that is evil. Alison Pill is rather bland in a thankless best friend role, and Glenne Headly (whom I still adore from `Mr. Holland's Opus') is forgettable as Lola's mother. Carol Kane is frighteningly over-the-top and Adam Garcia is decent at best, failing to ever live up to the legend Lola paints of his Stu.

In the end I can't say that `Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen' is really even passable entertainment. I cannot justify ever watching this again, nor can I even justify my decision to watch it in the first place. If you are over the age of ten then this should never grace your television screen.

I wish that I had been smarter before I subjected myself to this mediocrity. August 25, 2008

It is dramatic...

I went in with an open mind and sat through, hoping it would get better, but this is the ONLY movie I have ever seen where I have wanted to walk out of the theater. For maybe the only positive messages they have in the movie (follow your dreams and don't lie to your best friend) there are so many negative ones. Be catty to other girls, make it one of your top dreams to meet that famous person, do what feels right to you regardless of what it means to other people, give in to stereotypes about teen girls just do it more extremely than the other people and you'll be different, it IS all about you and everything you want will come true! Everything was taken to such an extreme in this movie (it is dramatic) and as a pretty laid back person, I couldn't deal with it. I can see how young girls would be attracted to this film, but I personally didn't like the pointless drama and self-involvement of the main character. I wish I had taken the title more seriously. August 20, 2008

Good Movie

Lindsay Lohan made a number of cute movies as a kid and teen (what happened?). This is one of those. I had never even heard of this movie. We just ran across it and added it to our kid's DVD collection. It's funny and makes a good addition. May 4, 2008

typical Lindsay Lohan flop

the only reason i bought this movie was because the cover is cute. i TRIED to watch it with an open mind and TRIED to like it. after all, what's the point of owning a movie you don't even like?

lindsay lohan's character is too over-the-top. i understand that she is SUPPOSED to be that way in the movie, as she is a DRAMA QUEEN. however, she does not pull it off well.

there is a plot, i can give them that.
but the movie was just very lame.

please save yourself time and DON'T watch it!

the ONLY lindsay movies worth watching are "Mean Girls" and "Parent Trap". April 11, 2008

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